One step forward, two steps back

Well, I missed the "official" Employee Health weigh in.  I need to stop at the corporate offices to get weighed some time.  Getting a little discouraged that the scale isn't moving.  Still can't squeeze into my AE jeans that I miss wearing.  =(  Here's a comparison photo, though:

I guess there's a little change...and not just my hair color and style or makeup...though that is part of it; and Chris pointed out the pic was taken at two different angles.  Whatever.  I think I need to get back to my yoga for weight loss DVD.  I can't decide if I'm eating too many calories or not enough.

I was talking about my finger/hand rash (btw, did I mention the doctor told me what it was?  Dishydrotic eczema...and I got a ginormous tube of steroid cream for it:

Crazy, right?  If the derm wouldn't have given me a card for it to be free, it would've been $600...or so said the pharmacist).  Anyway, what was I saying?  Oh yeah, I was talking about it at work and saying how I don't think the steroid cream/Vaseline/white gloves routine is working.  My boss said she has it too and that hand sanitizer helps hers and hers is an autoimmune thing.  A nurse I work with was in on the convo and said, "I think Mary has an autoimmune disorder undiagnosed."  So I did some Googling for autoimmune and amenorrhea.  I found some scary things, people.  Scary things.  I did, however, make an appointment to talk to the "head" gyno at my new office about my getting pregnant.  That's on the 18th.  *fingers crossed for answers!*

I cannot get into the new book I'm working on.  Like The Midst (that I redid for NaNoWriMo), it's a story I had written before (and actually finished it!) but now realize sucked, so I want to rework it.  I just can't get into the groove for some reason.

I was glad when the calls from debt collectors stopped, but now I'm getting letters from lawyers.  I wish I could tell all these people that I owe money to, "Look, I do want to pay you back.  I HATE having this hang over my head, but credit card bills are not on my priority list...it goes car payment, groceries, water, electricity, gas, internet, Dish, and other crap.  Cat food goes in there somewhere.  UGH.  And I think my student loan payments are due again.  Someone remind me to call them.  =\

Down "15 pounds"...we'll see

Down 15 pounds since the weigh in.  I think I'm losing fat on my ribs...or someplace else stupid like that.  No, my measurments (hip and waist) went down an inch.  I was going to rest today, but it is sooooo freakin' nice out.  I'm going to walk with Mom, Chassity, and Damian.

Still working on my "Adrienne" story, getting it ready to send to publishers.  I need to get it done and start on my newest one.  Between that, painting my nails, exercise, and playing Star Wars I am running out of hours in the day. 

I painted my nails last night while I watched Grimm on the DVR.  Shortly thereafter, I went upstairs to wash my face.  After I dried my face and hands, I noticed my right thumb and pointer finger nails were messed up.  I could not for the life of me figure out waht happened.  Then I remembered I had a really annoying itch on my side and I must've scratched the hell out of it...and my nail polish.  So I had to go back downstairs and take it all off.  It was easier to do that than to repaint the two nails.  I really wanted to get into bed.  I need new nail supplies anyway.  Low on cotton balls, remover, base coat, and top coat.  They'll have to wait for another check or two, though.

My derm appointment is the 23rd.  Thankfully, my fingers are still weird.  I have a gyno appointment on Thursday =O.  Man, I hate those.  Hopefully this one will be able to figure out what's wrong with me.  If I really have PCOS or not...and not just throw me on the Pill.

Chest pains

Tomorrow the weight loss challenge begins.  We get weighed in.  Can't wait to see what I'm up to.  =|  I'm definitely going to try to walk on the treadmill.  Don't know how I'm going to do any other kind of exercise; my chest has been hurting for the past couple weeks.  Just bending over to get clothes out of the dryer today was alarmingly painful.  Seems to be twisting movements.  I feel like my breastbone might crack or something.  It's still bothering me now, even though I took three ibuprofen.

I did some research...on myself.  I copied and pasted my old blog into a MS Word file and edited it to maybe one day be a book.  Well, I looked up when my face started bothering me the first time.  It was Jan. '05.  Seven years ago.  I've been dealing with this cycle of eczema/steroid cream for seven years.

Maybe I should go to a holistic healing person.  Get a detox foot bath and have my palms read.  I need to do something.  Every time I go to the doctor they think nothing's wrong with me.

Dear laptop,

I'm sorry I haven't used you in a while.  SWTOR has taken up a lot of my time.  Remind me to inform Chris and his friends that our Sith toons will have to be on the back burner; Monday starts the weight loss challenge at work and I need to get on the treadmill....forever...like literally.

-Mary

Good God, hopefully I'm this swollen on Monday for the weigh in.  Then I'll spend all week peeing out all this water weight, holy crap.  My hands are normally swollen in the morning, but recently my hands, arms, feet, and legs have been swollen almost all day.  My fingertips are super sore today, too.  Not sure why.  It's Saturday; I did absolutely nothing today.  I mean, the most "irritating" thing I touched was water.  But, then again, water is a  universal irritant.  I learned that in beauty school.

Something else I learned in beauty school?  I'll fail if I don't wear make up.  Yeah.  After my teacher gave me a "talking-to" about how my not wearing makeup was going to bring my beauty school average down, you'd think I wouldn't have gotten out of that habit.  Then again, it was almost ten years ago.  

Well, I'm done rambling.  I'm going to go bathe my hands in scent-free, special eczema lotion.

Fingers

Losing my fingerprints

I'm going to try to get a better picture tomorrow outside (if it's sunny).

They were very burny and itchy today at work.  It hurts to touch certain paper products, like manila envelopes.  I did some research during our down time and found other people experiencing the same thing; doctors gave them varying diagnoses, though.