Monday, October 13, 2014

It's finally happened!

I know it's been a while since I posted here, but I didn't have much to say.  Just the same whining about life and how it sucks.  Chris got fired back in November and we've been barely staying afloat since.  We got a new kitty, one that my sister-in-law had rescued and they were giving away.  Her name is Pumpkin and she's super cute!

Barbara, a friend of mine at work, got me using an app called Zombie 5k.  It's pretty awesome.  I'd recommend it to anyone who wants to train to run/jog.  It was always something I wished I could do, and with this app, it not only trains you to eventually run a 5k, but it also puts you into the story and will mix in your own music.

Anyway, I had been doing the Zombie run for about a month, and, to be honest, I only really started it to see if losing weight would help me get pregnant.  Since the clomid hadn't worked alone or with metformin, I figured I'd give running a shot before I started on some crazy vegan diet or something.  So, a month of walking/running and then there comes a night where my boobs hurt to much to do it.  Granted, my boobs have been hurting a lot since I stopped clomid (which I took as a good sign that my hormones were finally in line) so it wasn't anything new.  But I just felt...super bloated?  I guess you could describe it that way.  I started the program but ended it early two or three times.

The following week, I got two nosebleeds, which is weird for me.  I never get nosebleeds.  I also couldn't sit with my pants buttoned.  I began to suspect I was pregnant, but then again, I always suspect that and I'm always wrong.

My period was supposed to come on August 31st, which was when my family's Labor Day picnic was.  So, I went prepared to get my period at any moment, especially if I went in the pool.  One 4th of July at the same aunt's house, my period was late and I was all excited to only find it had started after I got out of the pool.  Yay.

I had such a strong feeling, though, that night I couldn't sleep.  I actually got up at 2 AM and found a cheap-o pregnancy test that I was sure was expired.  I peed in a cup and dipped the tester in.  Two lines showed up.  I was shaking.  I quickly took a picture and sent it to Barbara (because I knew it wouldn't wake her up.)  After that, it was really hard to go back to sleep, but eventually I did.

I had to work the next morning and stopped and got Tylenol (for my lack-of-sleep headache) and prenatal vitamins.  I sent the picture I took the night before to Chris and he had no idea what it was.  So I told him.  "It's positive.  It says I'm pregnant."  He told me not to get my hopes up, like the so many other times I have and then been let down.  We went grocery shopping later after work and I grabbed a digital test.  He wanted me to wait until morning, but I couldn't, so I took it right after we got back from the store.  It clearly said "Pregnant."

Long story short, today I am ten weeks and going to have a sonogram tomorrow.  I've been thinking about taking a belly pic, but I was fat to begin with, so not sure how good it would be.  People have been telling me that I'm losing weight, which I'm not sure how to feel about that.

Sunday, November 17, 2013


Nothing like working on a weekend to get my mind wandering.  For some reason, I started remembering stuff from high school and right after graduation.

In HS, Katie's on-again-off-again boyfriend Timmy had a pager.  At the time, it was cool to have a pager, but also, only drug dealers had them.  Anyway, I used to page him with the numbers 1134, which, if you hold the pager right, says "hell."  Katie hated it.  But, what didn't she hate?

Then I thought about the time I was on third shift at NAC and Chris McConnell, who was in my brother's class, was our temp floor guy.  We got to talking (he also used to date Katie) and decided to hang out.  Katie caught wind and invited herself along.  I warned her that my car's AC wasn't working and it was a heat wave (and the car had leather seats.)  She ignored the warning and we picked her up.  She complained the whole time about how hot it was.  We stopped at McDonald's and she had someone come pick her up because she was too hot.  Chris and I ended up going to another classmate's house to hang out with more school kids.  Katie again caught word of it and wanted to hang out, too, but didn't want to use her gas to drive there herself (this was 2004, 2005...gas was what then?  Like, nothing?) so she spent hours calling around asking for a ride.  Chris and I ended up leaving because we had to go to work, and as we're driving down the lane, doesn't Katie come driving up next to us.  And, she was mad that we were leaving and we didn't tell her we were going to Amy's and blah blah blah.  All the while, my husband at the time calls and finds out I'm driving around with Chris and goes bonkers.  I tried telling him that I've known Chris forever and he was in my brother's grade and, therefore, is like a brother to me, but the ex-asshole is an ex for a number of reasons.

Monday, May 13, 2013

New tattoo!

Chris put money aside (or at least that's what he thinks...we spent a little more than we should've) for my birthday so I could get a tattoo. The new girl at work knew of this reasonably priced guy in Indiana so I made an appointment with him and me and Jenn drove the hour or so trip. It was hard trying to decide what to get but then it hit me: I promised myself my next tattoo would be a tribute to my favorite children's book A Child's Garden of Verses by (Google Affiliate Ad)illustrated by Susan Bonners. It's a tree from the Land of Nod illustration and two lines from the poem.

Monday, April 29, 2013

I have a hot ass

Literally. I'm sitting on my heating pad because my tail bone aches like the dickens. I'm not sure if I sat on it wrong when I was vegging yesterday watching Doctor Who and doing laundry or if it's just my stupid fibrous dysplasia. When I was 15 or 16, for a whole year my tail bone ached. I specifically remember in church, we had Sunday school in the basement and we were basically sitting on those white plastic lawn chairs. After sitting for so long, then standing up, I almost cried my tail bone hurt so badly. I never was able to figure out why it hurt back then, until I was diagnosed.

The forehead looks pretty much the same. Still has the line down the middle and dots where each stitch was. I bought a new silicone sheet since I lost half of mine, and at my latest derm appointment, the nurse scheduled me for some sort of laser treatment to get rid of the redness. I was too tired at the time to think, but I need to call them and ask if my insurance will cover that or not.

For my birthday, Chris said he would give me $200 for a tattoo. I told the girls at work that we should all go get tattoos and we got in touch with an artist about an hour away. He did a tat for the new girl and it looks really good and it was pretty cheap. My one coworker faxed him all of our tattoo ideas to get them priced, but I need to text her and ask if he got back to her. He initially said he was booked up until July, but, come on, it's my birthday!

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Slowly fading

Do you see what I meant in my last post about the line? There's a space in the middle that smooths over, but I'm starting to think that's an eczema patch, as it's super itchy and rough feeling. Thought just occurred to me: hopefully it's not the skin cancer grown back already. If it is eczema, I think it's from the new Palmer's scar oil stuff I've been using these past couple days. When I get home, I'm going to wash my face and put the silicone patches on and maybe do Vaseline in the morning. (Had to work this weekend. Got my homework done today because it was so slow.)

The girl I'm working with/training this weekend smokes and I walked down the hall after she came back from a smoke break. The smell reminded me of my grandma's old apartment building when I was younger. We went there every summer and spent the night. Somehow, I'd always end up in the room with the creepy dolls. I remember hearing crickets outside the window as I tried to fall asleep in this strange place. I don't think I ever walked in my sleep there, though. I have a habit of sleep walking/talking when I'm sleeping in a new environment, unless it's a hotel. I love hotels, don't ask me why. Not too sure myself why I love them.

Want. To. Scratch. Forehead.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Silicone patches

Taken a couple days ago:

Last night, I stopped putting Vaseline on my wound and started with the Dr. Blaine's Scar Repair silicone patch (which I had to cut to make it fit on my ginormous forehead). When I took it off this morning, you could see the line down my forehead, like someone took a light pencil and drew it down the middle of the wound. It still looks like that and I would take a picture, but I'm at work and taking selfies at work (with other people around) is weird. I think I'm able to make more faces, seeing as every time I make one my forehead hurts. I can definitely feel the skin pulling. On the 14th, I'll start massaging it to make sure the stitches inside it broke up.

Oh yes! I finally got my refund, if I haven't said that already. We bought a sectional sofa, chaise, and ottoman at Big Lots on Easter. We have to rent a Uhaul to pick it up and take our old stuff to the dump and that can't happen until Friday. Taking the car in to the dealership on Tuesday to have the brakes and transmission fluid replaced and also have the alignment done. Went shopping on my day off; got new work pants, some jeans (because I only had one wearable pair), some work shirts, and some new tank tops, though I think I'm going to go back and get different sizes of them. The girl at Maurice's convinced me to get a size medium because that's what she wears (for the record, she cannot squeeze herself into a medium and still have the ability to breathe). I like the tank tops, I just think I should've gone with a large. I mean, my boobs are being pressed against my spinal cord.

Anyway, I also finally bought Microsoft Office Student and Corel Painter Lite. I feel like my laptop is complete now.

My forehead is tingling. Every so often it does that. Maybe Voldemort is around. (I'm not a huge HP fan, but I did see the first movie in theaters.)