I've decided: I'm pregnant with fatness and I think it's triplets.
I think I blogged before about how I don't realize how fat I am. In my mind, I'm still the "kinda fat" girl I used to be...thirty pounds ago (that pic up there ^^^). There have been some subtle hints, I suppose, to my fatness. Such as,
1. The sudden need to unbutton my pants all the time
2. Suffocation by my own boobs when I tie my shoes
3. Louder footsteps
4. The inability to paint my toenails
5. The inability to reach my right arm across to my left side and vice versa
There are just some days where I feel huge and today is one of them. I'm at work and have my pants undone. (Thankfully, I'm the only one here). Of course, it could be because all I've had to drink today is sugared pop and I just got done stuffing my face with Tastykakes and Sunchips. Why do I eat like food is going out of style?
I actually think I have an answer for it. My ex-husband never let me eat. I was never given money for lunch or snacks when we went to work. At family get-togethers, he never ate so I'd feel bad eating in front of him. (Why didn't he eat? Because he was a psycho). I must've lost my mind and thought I was fat when I weighed in the 140-150 range and went on Weight Watchers. He was very good at monitoring my points for me.
Now that I'm away from him, I think I eat because I was never allowed to when I was with him. I think it's a psychologically rooted problem. It would probably help things if I exercised, though. I need to use my treadmill. Even if just for the sake of Chris making fun of me all the time because I don't use it. Maybe I'll walk for a half an hour or so tonight before I play WoW.
Ah, just remembered why I tend to not walk so much. If I walk on that stupid thing (or anywhere, for that matter) for more than 30-45 minutes, my hips start to hurt. Well, my hips, my knees, crap, even my shoulder will start to hurt. Waa, waa, I'm such a baby. That's what I tell myself in my head, but it doesn't stop the pain.
No comments:
Post a Comment