Slowly fading

Do you see what I meant in my last post about the line? There's a space in the middle that smooths over, but I'm starting to think that's an eczema patch, as it's super itchy and rough feeling. Thought just occurred to me: hopefully it's not the skin cancer grown back already. If it is eczema, I think it's from the new Palmer's scar oil stuff I've been using these past couple days. When I get home, I'm going to wash my face and put the silicone patches on and maybe do Vaseline in the morning. (Had to work this weekend. Got my homework done today because it was so slow.)

The girl I'm working with/training this weekend smokes and I walked down the hall after she came back from a smoke break. The smell reminded me of my grandma's old apartment building when I was younger. We went there every summer and spent the night. Somehow, I'd always end up in the room with the creepy dolls. I remember hearing crickets outside the window as I tried to fall asleep in this strange place. I don't think I ever walked in my sleep there, though. I have a habit of sleep walking/talking when I'm sleeping in a new environment, unless it's a hotel. I love hotels, don't ask me why. Not too sure myself why I love them.

Want. To. Scratch. Forehead.

Silicone patches

Taken a couple days ago:


Last night, I stopped putting Vaseline on my wound and started with the Dr. Blaine's Scar Repair silicone patch (which I had to cut to make it fit on my ginormous forehead). When I took it off this morning, you could see the line down my forehead, like someone took a light pencil and drew it down the middle of the wound. It still looks like that and I would take a picture, but I'm at work and taking selfies at work (with other people around) is weird. I think I'm able to make more faces, seeing as every time I make one my forehead hurts. I can definitely feel the skin pulling. On the 14th, I'll start massaging it to make sure the stitches inside it broke up.

Oh yes! I finally got my refund, if I haven't said that already. We bought a sectional sofa, chaise, and ottoman at Big Lots on Easter. We have to rent a Uhaul to pick it up and take our old stuff to the dump and that can't happen until Friday. Taking the car in to the dealership on Tuesday to have the brakes and transmission fluid replaced and also have the alignment done. Went shopping on my day off; got new work pants, some jeans (because I only had one wearable pair), some work shirts, and some new tank tops, though I think I'm going to go back and get different sizes of them. The girl at Maurice's convinced me to get a size medium because that's what she wears (for the record, she cannot squeeze herself into a medium and still have the ability to breathe). I like the tank tops, I just think I should've gone with a large. I mean, my boobs are being pressed against my spinal cord.

Anyway, I also finally bought Microsoft Office Student and Corel Painter Lite. I feel like my laptop is complete now.

My forehead is tingling. Every so often it does that. Maybe Voldemort is around. (I'm not a huge HP fan, but I did see the first movie in theaters.)

Snore

I'm not sure if this is a bad sign, but I'm working on putting chapters and such in my second book to get it ready to send to publishers and I cannot keep my eyes open.  It is so slow at work today; I can't say that aloud, though.  I'll jynx it.  Anyway, hopefully it's not my story putting me to sleep, and even if it is, it's probably because I already know what happens.

My subscription to Writer's Market's website ran out so I'm just going off the list of publishers I sent my other book to, plus any that I happen to stumble on that I think my work would fit in well with.  (<--I just ended a sentence with a preposition!  Ha ha, remember that ongoing joke through Beavis and Butthead Do America?)

A coworker asked how much weight I was losing.  If we're all going by the scale the Employee Health lady used, compared to my scale at home, I've lost 13 lbs.  I think that's total BS, but whatever.  I've asked other ladies.  They're scales at home compared to the EH scale are pretty close- 1-3 pound differences.  Not 13 like mine.  So maybe I am losing weight?  The coworker said she noticed.  I haven't really.  Maybe in my butt; of course, the place I didn't really want to lose weight.

Day Two-ish

It's Day Two for me counting my calories, but it's Day Three for exercising and whatnot.  Going to do treadmill and yoga again tonight.  How would I describe my mood this week in a few words?

I. Am. Starving.

MyFitnessPal.com (and the app for my Blackberry) had me at only 1200 calories/day.  That is not a lot, people.  I did some research and found some other websites and I think I'm going to aim for 1500 until I lose some weight.  Weighing less should bring my BMR down, which in turn, lowers my daily calorie limit.




Or I could just hang myself.

I gave in and made an appointment with a dermatologist; they can't get me in until March 23rd, though.  I did try another facility, and their wait is even longer.  One doc's wait is up to Sept!  Anyway, my fingers are frickin' killing me.  Every time I touch paper at work, it feels like I'm touching acid.  My face rash is coming back as well.  I'm very afraid to let it go, though.  If it does turn out to be Lupus, that rash can scar your skin.  (That's what messed up Seal's face.)  I don't want that to happen.

Pissy mood

Ugh, I have been in such a pissy mood this past week and a half.  I couldn't figure out why.  I just wanted to sleep; been stress eating and craving stuff- I drove to Sheetz in the middle of the night because I NEEDED Mountain Dew and something chocolate.  (I thought the next day I would get my period or something, but no.)  It took me a couple days, but I did eventually figure it out: we just learned that someone on Chris's side of the family is pregnant...again...to a guy who has three kids to a different chick, who was told she couldn't have kids.  I should've realized it sooner.  Almost every time I find out someone's pregnant (who I don't think deserves it, if that makes any sense at all) I get in a horrible mood.  Why?  Because, frankly, it's not fair.  And I'm gonna end on that note before I go off on some kind of rampage.

A coworker brought in a list of foods that are beneficial, neutral, or awful for blood types.  I mentioned that I don't know my blood type and coworkers suggested I call and ask my doctor's office.  Well, the lady who answered the phone laughed at me when I asked, and she said something about blood work.  I told her I've had blood work done by them before, and she went to ask a nurse.  When she came back, she told me "no"; they have to actually order a blood typing test to find it out.  Everyone at the office said to go donate blood; they type your blood there.  I said, "Do you want me to pass out and/or throw up in front of a complete stranger?"  There are kits you can buy online, but that costs money, which I don't have.

I've been applying for part time jobs around, but haven't heard anything back from anyone yet.  Ulta probably saw my facebook page and didn't want my face behind their counters; there went THAT application.

Losing my fingerprints

I'm going to try to get a better picture tomorrow outside (if it's sunny).

They were very burny and itchy today at work.  It hurts to touch certain paper products, like manila envelopes.  I did some research during our down time and found other people experiencing the same thing; doctors gave them varying diagnoses, though.

Weight loss challenge

Well, on Feb. 27th, work is starting a weight loss challenge.  Our building already has two teams made up.  The ladies in the office somehow got my name on the list.  I told them I didn't want to do it; I'll be the reason we lose (the contest...not weight).  Oh well.  It gives me something to aim for I guess.  I have been enjoying Pepsi Max as my diet beverage of choice.  I can actually drink it and not want to vomit immediately. 

The ladies at the office are crazy for wanting to lose weight anyway.  All of them are thin in my eyes and perfect.  I don't know why they don't see it.  I told them I could lose a lot of weight if I chopped my boobs and ass in half and donated them to people.  I also had a great idea of donating my boobs to women who've had mastectomies.

Uck.  My hair is getting to that point where I want to chop it off.  I really like the color of Beyonce's hair here:

But I hate when my hair is long enough to stick under my arm...or accidently inhale (nose and mouth...I've done both.)  And this is all just me talking under the pretense that I actually have money to get my hair done with!  HA!

Beautiful day

The view from my window.  The sun's going down now so it's not as pretty (and the picture quality on my phone sucks).

I plan on working on my newest story tonight.  I must work on it...I think I've only written ten pages so far, if I'm lucky.  I just haven't been able to get in to it.

Dreams and aspirations on my way home from work

I was driving home after picking up some Micky D's for Christopher (who sprained his ankle, see below) and I had a revelation.  I have no idea why, but I thought about being a teacher and how, at first, the students wouldn't believe anything I say (like I never believed my teachers).  But years later, when they're my age, they would understand and say, "Hey, Mrs. Knight was right!" and that felt good.

But I would have a Billy Madison moment if I was a teacher.  Instead of the fat, young kid, though, I'd grab the skinny girls who think they're fat (or the kids that say they can't wait to move out on their own) and cry, "Don't you say that. Don't you ever say that. Stay here. Stay here as long as you can. For the love of God, cherish it. You have to cherish it!"

Anyway, Chris fell down our stairs yesterday.  I had to leave work to take him to the ER (yes, I pretty much just dropped him off at the ER doors and raced back to work...I only get half an hour for lunch!)  His foot/ankle is pretty swollen.  They said it was sprained.  I had to leave work again to go pick him up since he didn't have house keys.  They gave him crutches.  I tied an old purse to one of his crutches so that he can carry stuff around with him.  Thank God this happened while he's laid off.  Hopefully it's better before he gets called back to work.

It's really slow at work tonight.  I walked out to the quiet fax machines and instinctively said, "Wow, did the rapture happen?  Was I left behind?"  There's a story behind that.  In elementary school, it was seemingly required that in Bible class you watched the series of movies starting with A Thief in the Night.

Yeah, high quality stuff.  Circa the 1970's, the movies are all about the Rapture happening because of computers.  The Mark of the Beast is a binary 666 tattoo.  Anyway, I distinctly remember a friend and myself  being terrified after that of the Rapture happening.  One of us would come to school and tell the other one how she walked downstairs and no one was home; there's usually a pile of clothes sitting somewhere.  Instant fear: the Rapture left you behind.

PS.  They executed the people who became Christians via guillotine.  I wonder if the teachers at that school know how much those movies scarred me and pretty much shaped my childhood...and fear of guillotines.

As it so happens...

My blood pressure is back to normal.  Last night it was actually 120/80.  So, again, I will look like a retard when the doctor's office takes my BP on Thursday.  "We told you it was just your cold or stress," they will say, nasaly (or that's how I imagine it).  It's weird; every so often I can still feel pressure along the back of my head and ear where my headache was.  (If you find out I died in my sleep of an aneurysm, well, now you know the whole situation.)

Last night, as I was massaging my sore head, I noticed that the ball of my industrial piercing was missing.  I wonder how long it's been gone.  Thankfully it's the bottom one so the bar still stays in my ear.  Now I have to make a special trip to Hot Topic to buy a replacement.

Seems like another slow day at work.  I think I'll start working on my newest story.

The view from work

This is the view from the offices across the way from mine.  In my office, you just get a view of our parking lot and the main street...and the subsidized government housing across the street.

It's been a while

Since I usually blog at work, I haven't been blogging much because now at work I either work or write my book for NaNoWriMo.  My schedule coming up really sucks.  I'm going to be 9-5.  :P  Actually, a couple days next week I have to be there at 8 to learn the mail room.  Hooray.  As far as I can tell, the mail room really sucks, so not looking forward to that.

I'm trying to convince Chris to get me a tattoo for Christmas.  I have so many ideas for tattoos!

  

A week of ramblings

Well, I've been away from my blog to participate in NaNoWriMo.  I'm past 14k words, but kinda stuck.  My story wants to end itself rather soon, so I have to stall it.  Lulz, my story has control of me!

I ended up dressing as Sally from a Nightmare Before Christmas for Halloween and I won movie gift certificates for being "Most Theatrical", so that was nice.  When I wore my Sally costume at NAC, I lost the contest to a lady who dressed as a witch (or, everyone else said, wore a hat to work.)

I was driving my nephew home today from preschool and he started telling me this elaborate story about how the sun was fake and was just a normal light but was losing power.  He was carrying the "real" sun into the house and it was sooo heavy.  It has me thinking now about writing a kids book about all the stories he makes up.

Alexander the movie was on TV today.  I don't know how I missed this jewel of hot guys before!  Colin, Jared, that other hot guy...and I'm pretty sure they're all gay for each other.  OMG, love it!  Why hadn't anyone told me about this movie?!  I'm kinda angry!  Lol.

Chris is finally back to work.  When I found out my boss doesn't like tattoos, I've thought about nothing else.  I really want another tattoo, but we can hardly pay our electricity, water, and gas bills.  Bill collectors call me every day.  I'm still thinking about bankruptcy.  I should talk to Chris about it.

Sad realization

I had the sad realization at work today when everyone was showing pictures of their kids or talking about their kids: I am the weird cat lady.  I don't have the "old" part yet of the weird, OLD cat lady, but I have the "cat" and the "weird" down.

My work desktop background is a picture of my kitty:

I'm the only one in my department that has tattoos, one being on my wrist that's clearly visible to everyone.  I don't bake, I don't sew, I don't cook massive dinners.  I can't share recipes or talk about gardening.  I play computer games and watching Tosh.0.  I read and watch TV shows about murders.  I stick out like a sore thumb.

Unless Kristin's there.  I like her.  She needs to work more; no more of this PRN stuff!

Fun at work...yeah...

For the second time since I've been working here, I've spilled the soup I brought in for lunch.  The first time, the cup tipped over in the microwave and I spent fifteen minutes cleaning the mini stars out of all the cracks and crevices.  Today, however, I sent my soup container flying across my desk, onto some papers, and into my lap.  Thankfully, I was able to call Chris and my parents and arrange to have an outfit brought over.

I feel much better now in clean clothes.  I am listening to my Daniel Tosh station on Pandora now.  They're playing some clips from Aziz Ansari; he is freakin' funny.

My last rejection email is weighing on my mind.  I need to write some more.  I need some inspiration or something.

"Great" clips?

I went to Great Clips today to get some bangs cut.  I should've just cut them myself.  Instead of getting the lady who signed me in (who had nice bangs that I liked), I got some lady with Parkinson's.  I told her I wanted bangs and then to kinda blend them in.  She blended my long bangs, her hands shaking extremely visibly, and was ready to let me walk out the door.  So I said, "No, I want the short bangs, too," and so she cut like three hairs that laid retardedly on my huge forehead.  Thanks.  I didn't want to argue, so I left and drove over to Walmart, got new shampoo, a new hair dryer, and some Salon Paas pain relief patches for my hand.  While listening to Criminal Minds in the background, I cut my own freakin bangs.

I drank mostly Mountain Dew today, so I'm not sure when I'll fall asleep tonight.  Work early tomorrow and then all weekend, hooray.

Rejection letter #3

This time the publisher wasn't accepting new material...or so they say.  I've been trying to work on new book ideas, but working all this overtime has me drained.  It also doesn't help my tendonitis; I come home in pain every night.  Typing and writing and the way my desk is set up...not good.

Holy overtime, Batman!

I've been working a LOT of overtime.  I'm working 10-9 tonight because someone called off.  I worked 10 hours yesterday and Friday.  Also, my raise kicks in this month.  Hooray!  Mary might have some money!...

To go directly to bills.  =|

Bad bone day

I made the mistake of resting my knee on my desk chair today and now it feels like it needs to crack constantly.  Very annoying.  My "purse shoulder" also hurt some today, I got a bit worried.  I can't switch purses again!  I still miss my pink one. :(

Got a notice in the mail that I missed my second step in the TB test for work.  I was hoping the lady there let me slide since I almost passed out after the last one, luls.  I guess not.  I'll have to get up early on Monday and go over to the main office and pass out again.  Ugh.  I almost made myself pass out just thinking about it the other night.

I was thinking about doing the whole self-publishing through Kindle thing, but I'm a little skeptical.  Will I be able to publish my book "for real" later?  I don't even own a Kindle, so I'd have to buy one to have a copy of my book.  And cover art?  Can you just randomly take pictures offline?  Like, those no fee ones or something? 

I'm rambling.  I'm listening to my YouTube playlist right now.  Lonely Island and Bad Lipreading...so I'm not really paying attention to the words I'm typing.  Ha!

Trail of electronics

I just realized that every night I end my day with a trail of electronics.  I get home and get on the computer.  After the computer, I watch a little TV.  Then, we move upstairs where we turn on the little TV and I get on my laptop.  Maybe it's because I'm delirious with tiredness, but it's amusing.

Ugh, I have a stomach ache again.  I think I drank too much pop today.  Today was a good day, though.  I kept busy and it's FRIDAY!

It has been raining nonstop here.  They closed down some roads because the flooding.  My parents actually said the road in front of where I work was flooded.  I wonder how long that's going to last.  I keep expecting to walk into my basement and see a foot of water.  That'd be scary.  The little box is down there.  The poor kitties would be pooping all over the house.

Wow, I'm tired.