Silicone patches

Taken a couple days ago:


Last night, I stopped putting Vaseline on my wound and started with the Dr. Blaine's Scar Repair silicone patch (which I had to cut to make it fit on my ginormous forehead). When I took it off this morning, you could see the line down my forehead, like someone took a light pencil and drew it down the middle of the wound. It still looks like that and I would take a picture, but I'm at work and taking selfies at work (with other people around) is weird. I think I'm able to make more faces, seeing as every time I make one my forehead hurts. I can definitely feel the skin pulling. On the 14th, I'll start massaging it to make sure the stitches inside it broke up.

Oh yes! I finally got my refund, if I haven't said that already. We bought a sectional sofa, chaise, and ottoman at Big Lots on Easter. We have to rent a Uhaul to pick it up and take our old stuff to the dump and that can't happen until Friday. Taking the car in to the dealership on Tuesday to have the brakes and transmission fluid replaced and also have the alignment done. Went shopping on my day off; got new work pants, some jeans (because I only had one wearable pair), some work shirts, and some new tank tops, though I think I'm going to go back and get different sizes of them. The girl at Maurice's convinced me to get a size medium because that's what she wears (for the record, she cannot squeeze herself into a medium and still have the ability to breathe). I like the tank tops, I just think I should've gone with a large. I mean, my boobs are being pressed against my spinal cord.

Anyway, I also finally bought Microsoft Office Student and Corel Painter Lite. I feel like my laptop is complete now.

My forehead is tingling. Every so often it does that. Maybe Voldemort is around. (I'm not a huge HP fan, but I did see the first movie in theaters.)

Mohs Surgery: Looking better

Getting my stitches out on Tuesday. I think all the puffiness is gone from my face and the stitches don't hurt so much. Still can't make my usual faces.

Chris did laundry last weekend and managed to not wash most of my work clothes. I had to pull out my emergency pants and such. Becka and I hung out yesterday and went to the mall. I bought some shirts at Old Navy; some of my staples shirts have holes in them. I also picked up a pair of jeans there. They are super comfortable. I didn't think I could find a comfy pair of jeans again. Next time I get paid I'm going to have to pick up another pair. I also bought new cami tank tops (for $20/each!) but I might return them to get another size or something different. It rode up on me the whole time we were at the grocery store. Super annoying.

You know what else is annoying? I randomly chose to use H & R Block online to do my taxes, we'll have to wait 4-6 weeks to get our refund because they didn't update their system. I, for one, think they should cut people checks for their refund since it was their stupid fault. Anyway, when we finally get that, I'm going to have to buy Microsoft Office. Blah. It's like super freakin' expensive. I tried asking my advisor at Penn College of Technology if they somehow gave students a discounted version, but he never got back to me. Worst. Advisor. Ever. So thankful I'm done after this semester.

Mohs Surgery Recovery: Days 4, 5, and 6

Well, I'm back to work! Monday, I had some people wondering if it was ok for me to be working. I was still pretty puffy and yellow around the eyes and I actually had quite a bad headache, but I made it. Each day I look more normal, or so my boss says. I discovered last night, however, that I can't make my usual faces. I think I'm making them, but my eyebrows don't move. I can raise them a little, but I can't do my pensive, brooding look. This is me trying:

They had a Safety Pot-Luck Healthy luncheon today and when I went down to get some fruit, some of the MIS (computer) guys gave me weird looks. Do you know how frustrating it is not to be able to make faces back?! I can't make faces at Chris anymore when he says something stupid, either! I end up just closing my eyes a bit and staring at him; does not have the effect I'm looking for.

My stitches are very itchy. I'm also down to my last two band-aids, but down to $.03 in the bank account. We really need to stop spending money on eating out.

Blah

Well, Chris is off first shift and on third now, so I'm still in a funk. Though, hours of watching Supernatural at night have helped. Oh, those guys are so hot! Anyway, some quick updates. Chris hadn't paid his local taxes since 2004 and had gotten a letter in the mail about paying it back. He did. Then, he got another letter saying he needed to file returns for 2005-2011 in 10 days or they would file charges. After searching through the mess that is my file cabinet, I managed to find all his W2s for those years and he got his taxes done. He ended up owing them $57. Yeah...they were going to send him to jail for less than $60.

My mom turns 60 tomorrow, which means this year I'll be turning 30 in May. Every so often I feel like I'm having a mid-life crisis. It's hard to tell, though, if it's that or the clomid I'm taking. Speaking of which, no update there. Still on met and clomid. I think I have two months left before the doc gives up on me. I tried explaining to Chris why I'm so gung-ho about this. He thinks that we should wait til we have money (which will be never) and didn't know why I was always so upset when people talk about kids and whatnot. I tried to explain to him that the "specialist" the doc wants to refer me to will most likely recommend IVF or something and that's generally not covered by insurance. And then he said we could adopt. I explained to him how that also costs money. Anyway, I'm sick of thinking and talking about it.

I got the pink done in my hair again, but it's fading out already. I'm considering getting my hair cut short, but I'm not sure how Chris will feel about it. Last time I got bangs and highlights he said I looked like a lesbian. Yup, that's my husband.

Zomg...snore...

It's starting to rain.  I was wondering why my joints were fighting with me yesterday and today.  I'm so sleepy!  Perfect nap weather!  Plus, I haven't had any caffeine today.

The internet got shut off at our house.  Apparently, I forgot to pay it for two months!  Yay!  Chris gets paid tomorrow, so we'll get it turned back on then.  That + rent = not a lot of money left from his pay check.  My next check (the day after my birthday no less) will go mostly to my car payment, hooray.  Two more years.  Just two more years to pay on the car and I'm done!

I came to the horrible realization yesterday that not only did I not pay the internet bill, I think we're a month behind on the water, gas, and I totally forgot all about my student loan payments.  =|  I signed some petition going around online to forgive everyone their student loans and now I'm on some Liberal emailing list.  Oh well.

Don't even get me started on the medical bills I'm getting now.  I had labs drawn and got three bills in the mail for them.  Why do I even have health insurance?  Annoying. 

Thinking about doing my own Pinterest-image-do-it-yourself collage for painting your nails.  (While I normally hate the "instructional" photo collages, I think I can make one that makes sense.)  Some girls on there are posting pics of nail polish and they haven't even cleaned up around the cuticles.  So, I figured I'd make my DIY thing for painting and then cleaning up around the nail.

Still go back and forth about declaring bankruptcy.  I guess it takes like $900 (?) to do it.  Well, if I had $900, I could pay off two of my credit cards and then only one would be left.  Retarded.

One step forward, two steps back

Well, I missed the "official" Employee Health weigh in.  I need to stop at the corporate offices to get weighed some time.  Getting a little discouraged that the scale isn't moving.  Still can't squeeze into my AE jeans that I miss wearing.  =(  Here's a comparison photo, though:

I guess there's a little change...and not just my hair color and style or makeup...though that is part of it; and Chris pointed out the pic was taken at two different angles.  Whatever.  I think I need to get back to my yoga for weight loss DVD.  I can't decide if I'm eating too many calories or not enough.

I was talking about my finger/hand rash (btw, did I mention the doctor told me what it was?  Dishydrotic eczema...and I got a ginormous tube of steroid cream for it:

Crazy, right?  If the derm wouldn't have given me a card for it to be free, it would've been $600...or so said the pharmacist).  Anyway, what was I saying?  Oh yeah, I was talking about it at work and saying how I don't think the steroid cream/Vaseline/white gloves routine is working.  My boss said she has it too and that hand sanitizer helps hers and hers is an autoimmune thing.  A nurse I work with was in on the convo and said, "I think Mary has an autoimmune disorder undiagnosed."  So I did some Googling for autoimmune and amenorrhea.  I found some scary things, people.  Scary things.  I did, however, make an appointment to talk to the "head" gyno at my new office about my getting pregnant.  That's on the 18th.  *fingers crossed for answers!*

I cannot get into the new book I'm working on.  Like The Midst (that I redid for NaNoWriMo), it's a story I had written before (and actually finished it!) but now realize sucked, so I want to rework it.  I just can't get into the groove for some reason.

I was glad when the calls from debt collectors stopped, but now I'm getting letters from lawyers.  I wish I could tell all these people that I owe money to, "Look, I do want to pay you back.  I HATE having this hang over my head, but credit card bills are not on my priority list...it goes car payment, groceries, water, electricity, gas, internet, Dish, and other crap.  Cat food goes in there somewhere.  UGH.  And I think my student loan payments are due again.  Someone remind me to call them.  =\

Q: Easy way to weight loss?

A: Have no money for food!

So, as soon as our landlord cashes the rent check, we will have -$3.  Yes, that's a minus sign in front of the dollar sign.  We have half a box of stale cereal, probably a quarter gallon of milk left, less than a loaf of bread, less than a dozen eggs, and one thing of soup for me to take to work for lunch.  I think there might be six packets of oatmeal up in the cupboard.  Hooray.  =|  I get paid on Friday.  We just have to make it till then.

Mom and dad already paid our electric bill.  I hate to ask them for help again, but I'm not sure we're going to make it.  Even when I do get paid, I pay the car payment with this check.  That's about half of it- gone.  I think the cell phone is due and Dish, but they can go for a little bit.  Hopefully Chris will get called back to work soon.

Failure

Well, I failed at NaNoWriMo.  5,000 words short.  The last day of it, I was coming down with a cold (which I still am fighting off).  I sat on my "thinking chair" (ha ha, Blue's Clues!) and just stared at my lap top.  I couldn't even think.  I'm still going to finish the book.  Chris keeps telling me to hurry up and get it and the other one I finished published so he can "retire".  Right...

Debating what to do for Christmas for the girls at the office.  I was thinking about getting them each a nail polish that I think would fit them, but if I go with OPI (my natural choice), I'll be pushing $115 total, not including cards or any kind of wrapping.  I don't want to go cheap, though.  Sally Hansen nail polish is...ok, but not the best.  Maybe I can find some middle ground with Orly or China Glaze at Sally's...that is, if Chris works out our bills and such and says it's ok for me to spend the money. 

Originally, I was going to make my car payment late this month (like I pay it on time any other month or something) and get my Christmas present: a tattoo.  But now we have to give Chris' mom money, we need groceries desperately, and I want to get stuff for my coworkers.  My tattoo might have to wait til next year.  :'(

I had a dream about getting a tattoo.  For some reason, I wanted to get flames or something on my toes and I was calling tattoo places, or text them maybe?, and asking when they could get me in.  They were being really mean to me.

Wonderful dream, disappointing reality

I had a dream last night that Chris and I took a cruise ship to Japan (that's impossible, right?).  The toilets were so cute on the ship.  They had cartoon ducks on them and lit up different colors.  There was this "ghetto" section of the boat and I was tired so I sat down there and some guy accosted me.  He grabbed me by my industrial piercing and one of the holes ripped (ok, so that wasn't so wonderful).  Chris beat him up, I think.  When we got to Japan, we went shopping, even though we didn't have any money.  (Even in my dreams I'm poor!)  There was Hello Kitty stuff everywhere!  And get this: I found a Hello Kitty/OPI nailpolish.  It was red and sparkly AND was in a bottle shaped like a strawberry.  It came with the polish and a Hello Kitty figure.  In my dream, I said to Chris, "Chris, I'm just warning you, I might have to buy that."  There were other stores; I don't remember too much about them.  I know one place had hair brushes that looked like toilet brushes and you could record your voice on them.  (Why?  I don't know.)

So then after I woke up, I had to go talk to the hand doctor about my MRI.  He said it was normal.  =|  That he could do coritzone shots, but he wouldn't know what for.  =|  That I should just ignore it and deal with it.  =|  That I should stay away from doctors.  =|  Really?  Really?!

Next step is the rheumatologist...once I get some money.  Speaking of money, I'm considering bankruptcy to get a break from the bill collector calls.  Plus the fact that Chris can't work (oh yeah!  We found out yesterday that he has a congenital defect in his back and that's why it hurts so much).  I know that it messes up your credit score, but mine is already f'ed in the A from not paying on my credit cards.  We shall see.

Holy overtime, Batman!

I've been working a LOT of overtime.  I'm working 10-9 tonight because someone called off.  I worked 10 hours yesterday and Friday.  Also, my raise kicks in this month.  Hooray!  Mary might have some money!...

To go directly to bills.  =|