Doctor visit fun

I had to make an appointment with my doc to get refills. (Oh, apparently Prozac is an SSRI and I had no idea. I feel like a total moron.) Anyway, while I was there I mentioned all my joint pain. Right hand, right shoulder, left elbow. These really random places I'm getting "tendonitis". She asked who told me I had tendonitis; I said the doctor I normally see (she was a PA). She referred me to one of the orthopods that make visits to that office because he would be more knowledgeable. I was happy about that...until the appointment.

He was a nice guy, down to earth, funny...but he totally misunderstood the whole reason I was there. I was hoping to get referred for physical therapy to get exercises I could do that won't hurt me somehow. Instead, he showed me a few stretches and told me to do push ups off a wall. I mentioned my fibrous dysplasia (along with my fear of bone pain and fractures) and asked, "Do you know what that is?" because most people don't; the ER docs took four hours to figure it out. He said, "Yeah, exercise will help your flare ups." I didn't realize at that time (because I have a tendency to turn into a complete idiot when I'm at the doctor's) but he totally thought I said fibromyalgia, which is completely different.

I wish I could call the office up and be like, "Look, give Dr. What's-his-name a message: I said fibrous dysplasia not fibromyalgia, so give me the right treatment." And then I think, why should I have to quality check my doctor's decisions? Why should I have to keep calling around trying to find someone who knows what's wrong with me? It's very frustrating.

I'm on my seventh month of Clomid. Thinking about taking a break for a bit. Got some work things going on and it would be nice not to have to pluck my chin every other day. I also think I'm getting a bunch of cysts on my ovaries. I have pinching pains every once in a while in my abdomen and I feel constantly full down there...and no, it's not just my fat.

I don't know what to do exercise wise. Now my knees have been bothering me. They've always popped; all my life I could crack my knees. But now they feel unstable, there's grinding and other noises when I go down stairs. I've never been able to rest on my knees, it hurts too much. I've always thought my knee cap was too small. It's like the size of a quarter. I dunno. I'm scared to try to jog. Guess I could just go back to the treadmill, but everyone says that's bad for your knees, too. I think I'm just destined to be fat and out of shape forever. And it's a vicious cycle, because if I would lose weight, my knees would probably feel better. Oh well.

Chest pains

Tomorrow the weight loss challenge begins.  We get weighed in.  Can't wait to see what I'm up to.  =|  I'm definitely going to try to walk on the treadmill.  Don't know how I'm going to do any other kind of exercise; my chest has been hurting for the past couple weeks.  Just bending over to get clothes out of the dryer today was alarmingly painful.  Seems to be twisting movements.  I feel like my breastbone might crack or something.  It's still bothering me now, even though I took three ibuprofen.

I did some research...on myself.  I copied and pasted my old blog into a MS Word file and edited it to maybe one day be a book.  Well, I looked up when my face started bothering me the first time.  It was Jan. '05.  Seven years ago.  I've been dealing with this cycle of eczema/steroid cream for seven years.

Maybe I should go to a holistic healing person.  Get a detox foot bath and have my palms read.  I need to do something.  Every time I go to the doctor they think nothing's wrong with me.

F*#@ me

It sucks to be fat and lazy.

Heard from the doctor.  He doesn't want to put me on meds; he wants me to exercise and lose weight first.  Hooray.  =|  I'm considering getting a second opinion.  I've gained 5-10 pounds since the last time I was at the doctor.  My BP was 117/72 then.  I can't imagine ten pounds raising it that much.  I actually commented to the girl the last time I was there that I wouldn't worry about being fat until it affects my BP....maybe I shot myself in the foot by saying that.

I did do more research on Cushings.  I have almost every symptom except the "buffalo hump".  I do have a hump, but it's not fatty, it's bony.  My vertebra prominens sticks out there; it's really noticeable.  Probably more so since I got a nautical star tattooed over it.  Anyway, it was scary reading the symptoms but I feel like such a dweeb going to the doctor all the time and saying, "Hey, I think I have this; test me for it," and then being wrong.

Uh oh

Well, at my free BP check today, my blood pressure was still high.  130/90.  The nurse was going to show it to the doctor and they are going to call me if they think something's wrong...or whatever.

But I left my phone at home.  Yay, I are smart.

10 Hour Day

Working 10 hours today.  I don't really mind...though I just ate a whole bin of cheesecake.  I really need to lose some weight.  Really.  I need to look like that pic of me on the top of this page; skinnier, even, because I think then I was still considered "over weight".  I tried zipping up my hoodie today- tight.  I'm down to one or two hoodies that don't cut my blood circulation off at the waist.  I should just kill myself now.

My face is looking more moon-ish as the days go by.  Maybe I have Cushings?  I'll Google that when I'm done here and read about it again.

My blood pressure check tomorrow is free, so I'm still going to go.  At least I won't have to pay them to tell me I'm retarded and nothing else is wrong with me.  Story of my life!

Until I was in my twenties, my family went to this one doctor not too far from our house.  It was a Catholic place (if that makes a difference) and the physician assistant was a nun.  Neither the doctor nor the PA ever believed me or my mom when we went there.  I told the dr. that Allegra gave me nosebleeds.  She laughed.  Not the most appropriate response.  When I saw the PA because I hadn't had my period for six months, she asked, "Could you be pregnant?"  I said, "No, I've never had sex."  She then proceeded to get a urine sample to do a pregnancy test...that I had to pay for out of pocket (and I could've gone to the grocery store and gotten one for 1/5 the amount they charged me).

I sincerely hope tomorrow when I go for my blood pressure check that it'll be high or out of whack and they'll do a blood pregnancy test and it'll be positive.  Then I won't feel like such a fat piece of crap.

As it so happens...

My blood pressure is back to normal.  Last night it was actually 120/80.  So, again, I will look like a retard when the doctor's office takes my BP on Thursday.  "We told you it was just your cold or stress," they will say, nasaly (or that's how I imagine it).  It's weird; every so often I can still feel pressure along the back of my head and ear where my headache was.  (If you find out I died in my sleep of an aneurysm, well, now you know the whole situation.)

Last night, as I was massaging my sore head, I noticed that the ball of my industrial piercing was missing.  I wonder how long it's been gone.  Thankfully it's the bottom one so the bar still stays in my ear.  Now I have to make a special trip to Hot Topic to buy a replacement.

Seems like another slow day at work.  I think I'll start working on my newest story.

New Health Trek

I've had a headache since Saturday.  (In case you were wondering, this is day 6.)  All weekend, I took my usual Excedrin, but upon realizing that it wasn't helping, I stopped.  Mostly to prove to Chris that the pills weren't the cause of my headache.  I also stopped drinking caffeine.  I had to call off on Tuesday because I was up all night, and later that day as I sat watching TV I had the longest palpitation possible.

So when I came in to work yesterday, I asked if one of the nurses could check my blood pressure.  I mean, I had ruled everything else out: caffeine, Excedrin, pregnancy (I took two tests).  Linda took my BP and it was 138/88.  My BP is usually low; like 112/70 low.  I made a doctor appointment right after that for today.  Of course, today before my appointment, Linda took my BP again and it was 124/98 or something along those lines.  By the time I got to the doctor's it was 132/98.  When the actual doctor took it, not only did he take it like four hundred times, but the number he said was something ridiculous like 138/100.

"That's a little high," he said.  Really?  Maybe that's why my ear feels like it's going to shoot off my head?  And everyone there looked at me crazily when I said the pain was in the back left of my head.

He ended up telling me that a headache from blood pressure wasn't normal (?).  After that, I'm not sure if he was advising me on my headache or BP problem.  He said to take Tylenol for the headache and I must just be under stress or it's from the cold I'm practically over by now.

Whatever.  I have to keep a blood pressure log and go back next Thurs.  If it's still high, then he'll try to figure out what's wrong with me.  How nice.