Doctor visit fun

I had to make an appointment with my doc to get refills. (Oh, apparently Prozac is an SSRI and I had no idea. I feel like a total moron.) Anyway, while I was there I mentioned all my joint pain. Right hand, right shoulder, left elbow. These really random places I'm getting "tendonitis". She asked who told me I had tendonitis; I said the doctor I normally see (she was a PA). She referred me to one of the orthopods that make visits to that office because he would be more knowledgeable. I was happy about that...until the appointment.

He was a nice guy, down to earth, funny...but he totally misunderstood the whole reason I was there. I was hoping to get referred for physical therapy to get exercises I could do that won't hurt me somehow. Instead, he showed me a few stretches and told me to do push ups off a wall. I mentioned my fibrous dysplasia (along with my fear of bone pain and fractures) and asked, "Do you know what that is?" because most people don't; the ER docs took four hours to figure it out. He said, "Yeah, exercise will help your flare ups." I didn't realize at that time (because I have a tendency to turn into a complete idiot when I'm at the doctor's) but he totally thought I said fibromyalgia, which is completely different.

I wish I could call the office up and be like, "Look, give Dr. What's-his-name a message: I said fibrous dysplasia not fibromyalgia, so give me the right treatment." And then I think, why should I have to quality check my doctor's decisions? Why should I have to keep calling around trying to find someone who knows what's wrong with me? It's very frustrating.

I'm on my seventh month of Clomid. Thinking about taking a break for a bit. Got some work things going on and it would be nice not to have to pluck my chin every other day. I also think I'm getting a bunch of cysts on my ovaries. I have pinching pains every once in a while in my abdomen and I feel constantly full down there...and no, it's not just my fat.

I don't know what to do exercise wise. Now my knees have been bothering me. They've always popped; all my life I could crack my knees. But now they feel unstable, there's grinding and other noises when I go down stairs. I've never been able to rest on my knees, it hurts too much. I've always thought my knee cap was too small. It's like the size of a quarter. I dunno. I'm scared to try to jog. Guess I could just go back to the treadmill, but everyone says that's bad for your knees, too. I think I'm just destined to be fat and out of shape forever. And it's a vicious cycle, because if I would lose weight, my knees would probably feel better. Oh well.

Proud of My Size Link-Up

I still care about nails

I took a break from nail polish for a while because nothing would stay on.  Even a clear coat came off the very next day (and I'm a picker; if it chips, it's gone).  I started thinking about what I was doing differently: I've been using OPI's Natural Nail Base Coat and Seche Vite top coat.  I dug around in my nail drawer and found I still have some base coat left in my bottle of Orly's rubberized base coat so I painted my nails using that.  That was Saturday or Sunday and I've only just now noticed a chip.  I think I'll be going back to Sally's to get another bottle of Orly!

Deactivated facebook

As of last night, I have deactivated my facebook.  Why? you ask.  Because I am naive.  I though all my former classmates and acquaintances would be mature, non-obtrusive, and supportive of me.  I was very wrong.  It's high school all over again.  I got a message from a former classmate complaining to me about things someone told her I said about pregnant women, and she took it personally.  She went on to say how wrong I was to not like her just because she got pregnant, and I have no idea how long it took someone to get pregnant.  Yadda, yadda, long message short, she was just letting me know how big a piece of shit I am for deleting her.  I replied that just because I delete someone on facebook doesn't mean I don't want to be friends with them, I just don't want to see the baby posts.  Do you know how hard it is to see people posting their positive pregnancy tests when every pregnancy test you took (for 5+ years) was negative?  I tried to explain that it's my problem, no one else's and it's my issues, no one else's, and that I never said anything bad about any of my pregnant friends.  She replied that two people on two separate occasions told her about my posts (which were just that I was deleting pregnant friends and I shared an inspiration picture with a friend of mine who also has trouble getting pregnant).  Awesome.  So, two someones on my freaking friends list made it a point to tell my newly-pregnant classmate that I, basically, hate her.

I was dead wrong in thinking people would understand why I was deleting my pregnant friends.  They don't.  They just judged me.  I'm a huge piece of shit because I can't handle seeing people I don't talk to anymore posting their pregnancy feeds.  Well, blow me.

Book titles

Not sure if I ever mentioned this before but I was in a theater watching the previews (it might have been before The Hang Over?) and this preview comes on that starts describing my book. Chris looked over at me and laughed but I just sat there in awe. The only difference was the main character was a guy instead of a girl. What movie was it? 17 Again. I was like, "Wow, I guess I can't use that title now!" It would have fit my story perfectly, too. I was so sad. I ended up deciding on Kayla's Second Chance, but I feel like I got gypped…by a movie that's not even that popular.

Bad bone days

Lots of pain this past week.  I was thinking the other day that my chest hasn't hurt in a while, so of course it had to start hurting.  Now my legs are beginning to ache.  Maybe it's the weather?  The past few days it's looked like it's going to storm, but doesn't.  Today, it actually did rain and thunder a bit, but nothing too big.  We haven't had a storm this year that knocks the power out.  I know other people have in different parts of the city and up the mountain (of course), but Juniata's missed it so far.

I remember one night when I was dating Chris, I left his house in a storm and when I got to Juniata there wasn't one light on.  All the streetlights and stoplights were out.  It was eerily dark.  I had to use my phone to see to go in the house and to my room.

I am so tired.  I woke up with a migraine, barely choked down a Slimfast, went to get blood work done, and then mom dropped me at work.  I took three Top Care Migraine Formula pills (they still haven't put Excedrin back on the shelves?) and then my blood sugar crashed.  At least my migraine went away!  But now that I've eaten, I'm sleepy.  And my legs hurt.  Is it Friday yet?

Twitter is dumb

So, starting the submission process again.  It seems like it should be easy; type up a synopsis, make up a query letter, blahdy blah, hit send, and done.  Nope.  I spent a few hours yesterday working on my whole "package" and only did one submission (I think).  I got some suggestions for my query letter from a publisher who, after reading their multiple blogs, I decided I did not want to go with.  I am a laid back person; I try not to be stuck up.  I can not submit my "baby" to a stuck up publisher.

Anyway, I had taken their suggestion of putting a biography of sorts in the query letter.  An editor sent me an email tonight and told me to leave that part off.  So there, stuck up publisher!  I thanked her.  I really do appreciate feedback.  Normally, I feel like my emails and queries go off into cyber space and float around forever.

I've also gone back to Twitter.  Good Lord, I hate that place.  My home page looks like someone took a Scrabble bag of letters and dumped in on the floor. @ this and # that.

If anyone wants a good read, Google the Freeh report on Sandusky.  I'm on page 80-something of 267.  It's just unbelievable how the people in charge just kept putting it off and putting it off.  At one point, they pretty much admit in an email that they might get in trouble for not reporting the incidents.

Right now, I'm just trying to put off running to Sheetz for Chris.  I'm always sent on the Sheetz runs.  I should make him go.  The car is set for him.