Memories

Nothing like working on a weekend to get my mind wandering.  For some reason, I started remembering stuff from high school and right after graduation.

In HS, Katie's on-again-off-again boyfriend Timmy had a pager.  At the time, it was cool to have a pager, but also, only drug dealers had them.  Anyway, I used to page him with the numbers 1134, which, if you hold the pager right, says "hell."  Katie hated it.  But, what didn't she hate?

Then I thought about the time I was on third shift at NAC and Chris McConnell, who was in my brother's class, was our temp floor guy.  We got to talking (he also used to date Katie) and decided to hang out.  Katie caught wind and invited herself along.  I warned her that my car's AC wasn't working and it was a heat wave (and the car had leather seats.)  She ignored the warning and we picked her up.  She complained the whole time about how hot it was.  We stopped at McDonald's and she had someone come pick her up because she was too hot.  Chris and I ended up going to another classmate's house to hang out with more school kids.  Katie again caught word of it and wanted to hang out, too, but didn't want to use her gas to drive there herself (this was 2004, 2005...gas was what then?  Like, nothing?) so she spent hours calling around asking for a ride.  Chris and I ended up leaving because we had to go to work, and as we're driving down the lane, doesn't Katie come driving up next to us.  And, she was mad that we were leaving and we didn't tell her we were going to Amy's and blah blah blah.  All the while, my husband at the time calls and finds out I'm driving around with Chris and goes bonkers.  I tried telling him that I've known Chris forever and he was in my brother's grade and, therefore, is like a brother to me, but the ex-asshole is an ex for a number of reasons.

I'm pregnant...with fatness

I've decided: I'm pregnant with fatness and I think it's triplets.

I think I blogged before about how I don't realize how fat I am.  In my mind, I'm still the "kinda fat" girl I used to be...thirty pounds ago (that pic up there ^^^).  There have been some subtle hints, I suppose, to my fatness.  Such as,
1. The sudden need to unbutton my pants all the time
2. Suffocation by my own boobs when I tie my shoes
3. Louder footsteps
4. The inability to paint my toenails
5. The inability to reach my right arm across to my left side and vice versa

There are just some days where I feel huge and today is one of them.  I'm at work and have my pants undone.  (Thankfully, I'm the only one here).  Of course, it could be because all I've had to drink today is sugared pop and I just got done stuffing my face with Tastykakes and Sunchips.  Why do I eat like food is going out of style?

I actually think I have an answer for it.  My ex-husband never let me eat.  I was never given money for lunch or snacks when we went to work.  At family get-togethers, he never ate so I'd feel bad eating in front of him.  (Why didn't he eat?  Because he was a psycho).  I must've lost my mind and thought I was fat when I weighed in the 140-150 range and went on Weight Watchers.  He was very good at monitoring my points for me.

Now that I'm away from him, I think I eat because I was never allowed to when I was with him.  I think it's a psychologically rooted problem.  It would probably help things if I exercised, though.  I need to use my treadmill.  Even if just for the sake of Chris making fun of me all the time because I don't use it.  Maybe I'll walk for a half an hour or so tonight before I play WoW.

Ah, just remembered why I tend to not walk so much.  If I walk on that stupid thing (or anywhere, for that matter) for more than 30-45 minutes, my hips start to hurt.  Well, my hips, my knees, crap, even my shoulder will start to hurt.  Waa, waa, I'm such a baby.  That's what I tell myself in my head, but it doesn't stop the pain.