Bad days

I brought in some pictures of Matthew today at work to put on my bulletin board.  It brought back a wave of emotions.  I broke down a few times today and cried in my office.  I miss him.  It hurts me to think that it was somehow my fault, the Trisomy diagnosis.  I realize it isn't, but I can't help feeling like it is and why did it have to be my baby it happened to?